So, I complain when my children fight (which I really, really dislike--the fighting, that is. My dear mother would get so distraught when my brother and I would fight {I have two brothers, but the other is so much younger that we didn't really fight}. Yes, he broke a toy rifle over my head once...I went at him with the weed-eater while he went after me with the lawn mower {or vice versa [though after a second we both laughed at the absurdity of it]}...we had more than one board game flipped into the air after one of us landed on Boardwalk or killed the Spy...we exchanged all sorts of unfriendly names...etc.
It really bothers me to see my children fight--especially when they physically hurt one another or call each other names (especially now that they have moved on from using names like "poopy-head" to more sophisticated, barbaric lingo). I understand better why it bothered my mother, though it may not be that simple to articulate why. I guess I find those actions disturbing regardless of who is doing them, but it is that much more bothersome to see someone you love receive such treatment, and someone you love resorting to such treatment, and the combination of the two is very potent.
Yet, sometimes getting along is bothersome too. How so, you ask? Sometimes they feed off of each other. Sometimes the good moods magnify with the synergistic relationship among them, and it can be too much. Too much singing! Too much chanting! Too much silliness!! Phew. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it can be as intense as the fighting, and as disruptive as the fighting, and as draining as the fighting. I'll still take it over the fighting, but it's not a no-brainer.
Twins intensify it even further. They can relate so well to each other. They understand each other. They are developmentally so similar that they perceive the world very much the same way. If they weren't twins, they may not get along quite so well, and they may be more trustworthy not to act out with excessive exuberance and silliness inappropriately.
Once in a while, we just look at each other and regret how well the children are getting along. "Wouldn't it be nice if the girls argued just a little bit! Dang cooperation!"
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4 comments:
I believe I know how your mother felt. If there was a clear-cut person at fault I would sometimes say something like "You are hurting my child and I don't like that!" I like the giggling of children - except maybe at times when reverence should prevail.
Fight, fight! Fight, fight!
Okay, maybe not, but do they have to be so loud when they play? That is usually when I send them outside to play on the trampoline. We will see how well that goes in the winter.
I especially enjoyed the song, at the top of their lungs in the shower this morning, "My toes are cold, my eyes are cold, my ears are cold..." and on and on AND ON. Somehow, they were synchronized and everything. So loud. So crazy.
Weed eater? Lawn mower? Did I know about this? Sigh! Maybe if we could just teach them to fight responsibly so when we are all grown up, we really understand that sometimes we have to fight. (prop 8 is on my mind).At least I never heard any giggling!
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